Religion And Shit

Taoism 
Shit happens. 
Buddhism 
If shit happens, it's not really shit. 
Islam 
If shit happens, it's the will of Allah. 
Protestantism 
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough. 
Judaism 
Why does this shit always happen to us? 
Hinduism 
This shit happened before. 
Catholicism 
Shit happens because you're bad. 
Hare Krishna 
Shit happens rama rama. 
T.V. Evangelism 
Send more shit. 
Atheism 
No shit. 
Jehova's Witness 
Knock knock, shit happens. 
Hedonism 
There's nothing like a good shit happening. 
Christian Science 
Shit happens in your mind. 
Agnosticism 
Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't. 
Rastafarianism 
Let's smoke this shit. 
Existentialism 
What is shit anyway? 
Stoicism 
This shit doesn't bother me.