The Evolution Of Man

Spoiler

Some Of Us Have Better Things To Do

Darth Pope

The Born Again Christian Teacher

A young woman teacher explains to her class of third graders that she is a born-again Christian. She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too.

Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air. There was, however, one exception. A girl named Sarah had not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asked her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I'm not a Christian."

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"I'm an atheist."

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Sarah why she is an atheist.

"It's just that my family isn't religious. My Mom is atheist, and my Dad is atheist, so I am atheist."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason." she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

"Then," says Sarah, "I'd be a born-again Christian."

Religion And Shit

Taoism 
Shit happens. 
Buddhism 
If shit happens, it's not really shit. 
Islam 
If shit happens, it's the will of Allah. 
Protestantism 
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough. 
Judaism 
Why does this shit always happen to us? 
Hinduism 
This shit happened before. 
Catholicism 
Shit happens because you're bad. 
Hare Krishna 
Shit happens rama rama. 
T.V. Evangelism 
Send more shit. 
Atheism 
No shit. 
Jehova's Witness 
Knock knock, shit happens. 
Hedonism 
There's nothing like a good shit happening. 
Christian Science 
Shit happens in your mind. 
Agnosticism 
Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't. 
Rastafarianism 
Let's smoke this shit. 
Existentialism 
What is shit anyway? 
Stoicism 
This shit doesn't bother me.